Monday, November 29, 2010

Left-hand-Turn

Sunday, October 3, 2010
Down the track
Well its a bit further down the track since I first started this blog then abandoned, but life as I often say seems to just carry you away and in my case this is how it has been.

Its funny how life can take a sudden twist whether for the worst or better and I'm not sure in my case which one that is. Certainly I'm living in a much better place than I ever imagined but the journey itself was very interesting to say the least.

Lets go back a bit, the last post from me I was living in Cockatoo, a little town about an hour and a half from Melbourne, Australia. The house we had was a pleasant little house but it was a little too small for us and we had quite a few possessions stored in our front room that we couldn't find room for.

Now I haven't discussed my family history here and its a bit like that proverbial skeleton in the closet some dark secrets that the family never discuss but here am I broadcasting to - well the world but I figure if I talk about it here I may help someone else who is dealing with the same type of problems and help them understand what the hell is going on....(and maybe get some idea's on how to handle my dilemma's that crop up)

My parents divorced when I was five and as lots of divorces go it was messy and as a result the family which consisted of myself, my sister and father and mother ended up in different places I was with my mother and my sister was with my father (my sister eventually ran away from my father at the age of 12 and came to live with us). Both parents commenced getting on with their lives which meant in their case remarrying and having more children. My mother had two more children both boys and my father married a lady who had two children already and then had a further two children a boy and a girl.

After my sister ran away and came to live with us all communication between father and us his daughters ceased and whilst we knew where they lived we did not try to contact them preferring to begin anew...

Advance 30 years and I am a 30+ woman seeking answers and wondering what the father I never knew was like so I began the search of finding him, I find him ,visit, meet my half brother and sister and from then a regular contact by phone began...

Forward another 10 or so years and I'm caring for my sister who is dying of terminal cancer and I persuade my dad to come down and visit and say the last goodbyes as she won't ever see him again and he leaves to go back home...

Another five year passes and whilst sporadic contact is kept by phone I continue on with my style of life and he grows older and lives alone...he gets sick, is taken in by my half sister and he seems content. Then came a series of phone calls to me where it was obvious something was wrong but he didn't know what it was - he was unhappy and seemed confused. Finally one day he said he would like to come for a holiday and it was agreed that I would come and pick him up - then silence....

At the time it didn't worry me to much dad hadn't been a great communicator and I assumed he had forgotten what he wanted to do and something more important had come along but his confusion worried me a bit so a week or two later I rang to check on him...the phone had been disconnected - this set off alarm bells with me as he hadn't mentioned having problems with the phone and he had promised to get back to me so I rang the police station in his area and asked them to do a welfare check on him.

Police went out and found him ok and rang me to let me know..apparently he had forgotten to pay bill (no big deal) he promised to pay bill and contact me so I waited... Finally he rang and when I questioned him about bill he said no something was wrong with phone but it was all ok now and when did I want to pick him up for a visit?

Arrangements were made and I finally went to pick him up. I found him living in the backyard of my half-sisters ex-husbands house in 3 little workman portable type units and when I walked into his lounge/bedroom part of the unit I was assailed by a stench of a combination of mould, urine and cat feces he proudly showed me around we walked outside to another portable and he showed me his separate little kitchen with inch thick grease coating the benches and out of date food and old unwashed dishes piled high in kitchen sink and went to show me his other little portable toilet and shower from what I had seen it was enough...I grabbed his bag and his cat and took him to the car.

Ok I think I really have told you enough for today, even this post is a bit like war and peace but still I just needed to write it down whether you read the lot is your option I make no excuses